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Music Jokes

 

Various Musical Jokes

 

Do you know any good Music jokes? Please send them me so we can add them to this page. Thanks!

Misc | Music Definitions | Musical Terms | Trumpet | Drums | Viola/Violin | Bag Pipes


Music Definitions

ACCIDENTALS - The wrong notes.
AUDITION - The act of putting oneself under extreme duress to satisfy the sadistic intentions of someone who has already made up his mind.
ACCELERANDO - What happens when drummers have to keep a steady beat.
CONDUCTOR - An ignorable figure capable of following numerous individuals at once.
CUT TIME - When you suddenly realize that everyone else is playing twice as fast as you are.
CRESCENDO - A reminder to the performer that he has been playing too loud.
CYMBALS - Percussion instrument to be dropped while the band plays pianissimo.
FERMATA - A chance for the conductor to catch his breath while attempting to make his wind players pass out.
GLISSANDO - The way string players play difficult runs.
KEY CHANGE - A change in the main pitch or "tonal center" which takes full effect three to five bars after it is noted in the music.
PAGE TURN - A good way to avoid playing the hard parts.
PRACTICE - Don't worry about it.  Musicians never do it anyway.
RALLENTANDO - What never seems to happen during the technical passages.
RITARD - The idiot behind the stick.
TEMPO CHANGE - Signal for the musicians to ignore the conductor.
UNISON - See "minor second".
VIBRATO - A way for musicians to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.