Do you know any good Music jokes? Please send them me so we can add them to this page. Thanks!
Misc | Music Definitions | Musical Terms | Trumpet | Drums | Viola/Violin | Bag Pipes
Musical Terms Commonly Misunderstood by Country and Western Musicians and Their Translated "Country" Definitions
| DIMINISHED FIFTH | - an empty bottle of Jack Daniels |
| ORDER OF SHARPS | - what a wimp gets at a bar |
| MAJOR SCALE | - what you say after chasing wild game up a mountain, "Damn! That was a major scale!" |
| PERFECT FIFTH | - a full bottle of Jack Daniels |
| RITARD | - there's one in every family |
| RELATIVE MAJOR | - an uncle in the marine corps |
| RELATIVE MINOR | - a girlfriend |
| BIG BAND | - when the bar pays enough to bring in two banjo players |
| PIANISSIMO | - "refill this beer bottle" |
| REPEAT | - what they do until they just expel you |
| TREBLE | - women ain't nothin' but |
| BASS | - the things you run aroun in softball |
| PORTAMENTO | - a foreign country you always wanted to see |
| CONDUCTOR | - the man who punches your ticket to Birmingham |
| ARPEGGIO | - "ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose?" |
| TEMPO | - good choice for a used car |
| A 440 | - the highway that runs around Nashville |
| TRANSPOSITIONS | - men who wear dresses |
| CUT TIME | - parole |
| PASSING TONE | - frequently heard near the baked beans at barbeques |
| MIDDLE C | - the only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are low |
| PERFECT PITCH | - the smooth coating on a freshly paved road |
| TUBA | - a compound word: "hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryl Cream" |
| CADENZA | - that ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes |
| WHOLE NOTE | - what's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year |
| CLEF | - what you try never to fall off of |
| BASS CLEF | - where you wind up if you do fall off |
| ALTOS | - not to be confused with "Tom's toes", "Bubba's toes", or "Do-ri-toes" |
| MINOR THIRD | - your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling |
| MELODIC MINOR | - Loretta Lynn's singing son |
| 12-TONE SCALE | - the thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer with |
| QUARTER TONE | - what most standard pickups can haul |
| SONATA | - what you get with a bad cold or hay fever |
| CLARINET | - name used on your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo |
| CELLO | - the proper way to answer the phone |
| BASSOON | - typical response when asked what you hoped to catch |
| FRENCH HORN | - your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 am |
| CYMBAL | - what they use on deer crossing signs so you know what to sight in you pistol with |
| BOSSA NOVA | - the car your forman drives |
| TIME SIGNATURE | - what you need from you boss if you forget to clock in |
| FIRST INVERSION | - grandpa's battle group at Normandy |
| STACCATO | - how you did all the ceilings in your mobile home |
| AEOLIA: MODE | - how you like Ma's apple pie |
| BACH CHORALE | - the place behind the barn where you keep the horses |